The Battle of Discouragement

Psalm 42:1-8

As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
 My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
 These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

 My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
 Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

 By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

Oh if you know me personally, then you know that I have been discouraged in 2020.  Actually, I don't know of anyone who hasn't been discouraged in some way this year.  Discouragement can come from anywhere, but it may be from your health, your job, your friends, the election, the media, the way you're treated, COVID-19, or just the current circumstance that life has you in.  In our times of discouragement, let us remember that God loves us and desires to lead us to a place of a renewed vision of Himself!

"Disappointments will come and go, but discouragement is a response, and we can respond in other ways.  If we understand that God allows disappointments, we can find meaning in trouble.  Confess...'The Father is with me in the pain; He’s in control of my life and has allowed this for a reason; He is a good God, who will not let this disappointment be in vain.'  Discouragement may sound harmless enough, but don’t underestimate its power. By keeping watch, you can avoid its deadly trap" [intouch.org]

“Keep Calm and Carry On.”

This message first appeared in Great Britain as World War II began in 1939. British officials printed it on posters designed to offset panic and discouragement during the war.  I have a t-shirt that my friend, Karla, made for me that says, "Keep Calm and Blog On.”  She knows that I blog about what's on my heart and I find encouragement through it.

As for myself, the battle of discouragement used to be an easy one for me but now it is not.  I've probably relied too much on myself in the past but now I see that reliance on the Lord is my only hope and path.  I have been in the hallway of waiting so much lately for a new aide and for other things I won't reveal here.  I know God is faithful.  I, also, know that I am impatient.  I will use this blog personally to encourage myself and try to be as patient, as possible.  God has conquered my doubts 100% of the times before, so I will trust Him again and again and continue to pray.

6 Ways to battle discouragement are: 

1. To count your blessings

2. Consider what you take for granted

3. Practice whatever encourages you

4. Give of yourself to others

5. Remind yourself that others are praying for what you have

6. Read encouraging Scripture.

Understand that discouragement…

Is something we choose. While it’s a natural response to difficult circumstances, we have the power to choose a different response. No one else is responsible for our discouragement.

Is universal. At times, everybody will face periods of disappointment and discouragement because we live in a flawed world filled with flawed people.

Can recur. Sometimes we think we’ve settled an issue, which later resurfaces when we least expect it. Or we may have old emotional wounds triggered by something a person says or does.

Can be temporary or lifelong. Refusing to face discouragement head-on can open the door for it to influence our decisions, actions, and relationships as long as we live.

Is conquerable. With the Father’s help, we can get through seasons of discouragement. He wants His children to have a rich and fulfilled life. If we trust in His promises and His character, our feelings of discouragement will slowly be replaced by hope. [intouch.org]

Even if you still feel discouraged, remember above all else, God is in control.

Truths During Difficult Times

Truth #1: He Never Wants to Withhold What is Good for You

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, ”plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
— Jeremiah 29:11

As for myself, it's easy to question why God puts me in certain, uncomfortable situations.  The waiting is the hardest part, but I have to remind myself that God has always been faithful to me, 100% of the times that I've questioned Him.  God is good all of the time and all of the time God is good.  Pray in the hallways, until God opens that door of goodness.

Truth #2: He Will Never Leave You to Fight a Battle Alone

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
— Exodus 14:14

As for myself, I can often try to figure out ways to try to help my situation.  I am a 'female fixer', but I need to be more of a 'prayer warrior' for my life's circumstances.  God's protection is evident and I am not involved at all.  I recently hired someone as an aide, but had been warned by a friend not to hire her.  I soon found out they had been fired from my agency a few years before and were ineligible for rehire.  Therefore, I am back in the waiting room of life and trying to be patient for God's timing.

Truth #3: He Will Provide You with the Necessary Tools and Skills to Overcome Challenges

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”
— Isaiah 40:29

As for myself, to say I am weak is an understatement.  I don't have the strength to hold a styrofoam cup, so every ounce of strength to do anything comes from God alone.  This truth about providing tools is evident in my ability to type this blog.  A few years ago, my arm quit working and my ability to communicate with friends was at stake.  God provided a software program and camera that allows me to type without a physical, touchable keyboard.  The program is a vital tool to my life, happiness, and ability to serve others and my church.

Truth #4: God is Our Source of Strength

“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
— Isaiah 40:31

As for myself, strength is more than physical.  It is spiritual, mental and emotional strength.  It all comes from God, because my hope is in Him alone.  This world is full of disappointment, failures, and strife so we need the renewing strength of God to lift us up time and time again.  I want to live life on God's terms, which enables me to soar and not grow weary or faint.  

Truth #5: He Will Never Give You an ‘Impossible’ Challenge Because He Will Help You Overcome Anything

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
— Isaiah 43:2

As for myself, I have encountered many challenges that I've considered 'impossible'.  Many of those included surgery recoveries, but my hardest challenge was my recovery from my fall.  I felt like I was drowning in the waters, swept away by the rivers, and uncomfortably hot by the fires of it...but God alone kept me safe through it all.  He is faithful to keep His child from being overcome by too much.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
— 1 Corinthians 10:13

Friendships: What They Mean To Us Part 5

Today's blog is the final one in my series on friendships.  Have you experienced conflict in a friendship that produced good fruit from it? 

Conflict can be tense, unsettling, a test of pride but it can also be a good thing for the both of you.  When conflict arises, it can be a great time of reflection...what did I say exactly, was my response prideful, what does Scripture say about the issue, and are my actions respectful and not hurtful? 

Communication from both parties is key to a resolution, but if that's not happening, take the initative to open up the conversation without being pushy or demanding.  Sometimes we all need space and time to think things through, be patient.  Talking it out makes us vulnerable and brings out insecurities in us.  Most conflict is unintentional, but if you point it out then they will know how you feel and harboring bitterness can be avoided.

For myself, I try to let new relationships know, "If something I do or say bothers you in some kind of way, let me know.  I can't fix or stop something, if I don't know it's a problem.  And I hope, I can feel free to do the same with you."  

I also want to talk today about 'availability' in friendships.  I believe this is one of the most important aspects of true, godly friendships.  We live in a world where communication is easier than it has ever been.  We can talk in person, by phone, by email, by messenger and we can choose what hour of the day is best for us.  We all have busy, hectic lives, but we also all have a need to talk to someone.  A friend is the best answer to that need.  We must be intentional with our time for friends.  For example, if a friend reaches out just before you're about to go to bed, can you spare a few minutes and delay bedtime for them?  That moment may be their only time to open up, share vulnerable thoughts, and be willing to listen to something other than their own thoughts.  Being available means putting others before yourself and isn't that what God calls us to do.

"It just feels good to know you belong somewhere."  Friendship is an encouraging  bond that is a blessing and gift from God.  Ecclesiastes 4:12  "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:10  "If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."   Friendships have purpose and they are meant to help us finish this race we're on called life.  Go out today and make a new friend.

Friendship: What They Mean To Us Part 4

Today, we continue on with our discussion about friendships.  Our friendships are worth fighting for, we don't give up easily, and we stay through many different trials with each other.  But, sometimes there are unhealthy friendships that require us to put up boundaries or to distance ourselves. 

"Friends are like stars, they come and go, but the ones that stay are the ones that glow" -- Unknown

"You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with." -- Jim Rohn

Here are 23 signs to help you identify toxic friends by Ann Davis

1. They convey criticism
They're like snipers you don't know when they might strike, and their advice is a kick-to-the-stomach that makes you feel small and embarrassed.

2. They're smart
They skillfully determine which direction you move and how fast you go. If you try resisting, they fill you up with guilt until you cave in.

3. They're covetous
They feel bitter when you acquire things they don't have instead of being happy for you.

4. They discredit you
They hold you in low esteem and spread lies about you. 

5. They lack empathy
They don't feel your pain.

6. They're untrustworthy
They disclose secrets confined to them which destroys the trust you put in them.

7. They're freeloaders
They take advantage of your generosity and give nothing in return. 

8. They're gossipy
Their gossip is like a whirlwind, and it destroys your reputation in a short period.

9. They're unhappy
Always dissatisfied, complaining, discontent and misery are their companions.

10.They're self-centered
They only care about themselves and don't consider you. 

11. Their life is a living drama
They live in "one life" and "another world" dragging you into their exaggerated lifestyles. 

12. They bully
They use your emotions to attack you. 

13. They're blabby
They talk too much.  When you do, they talk about you until you shut up.

14. They're judgmental
They pass harsh and critical judgment based on their own ideas.

15. They're liars
They habitually lie with every intention to deceive you. 

16. They're bigheaded
They are too stuck up to deal with and for the most part, they just talk about themselves.

17. They're stubborn
It's their way or no way. 

18. They're fussy
They're picky and needy, annoying and hard to please. 

19. They're resentful
They never give up their ruthless nature.

20. They're harsh
They get involved in fights over petty arguments. 

21. They're inconsistent
Their commitment to the friendship is hard to predict. 

22. They're pessimistic
They always believe the evil outweighs the good. 

23. They're cheap
They lack generosity and are concerned with just themselves.

"If you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s up to you to change it! Casting blame on the other person may be convenient, but it is generally unproductive. If you’ve been treated poorly by someone, chances are you’ve allowed it. So start by acknowledging your part, and focus on what you can do to change yourself.

The best way to know the difference between a toxic friendship and a healthy one is to hang out with people who aren’t toxic! Once you’ve made a connection with someone you enjoy being with, who doesn’t use or abuse you or your time, pay attention to what’s different about this relationship so that you can focus on finding those qualities in others—and being a true friend yourself."  [lifehopeandtruth.com]

"This perfect level of friendship may seem like an impossibility to achieve with any of your friends, and in fact, you’re right! None of us is perfect, so we all eventually disappoint or frustrate others. Having a great friendship isn’t about expecting perfection.

However, there is one friend we can have who is perfect in every way, and He wants to be your best friend if you’ll let Him.

In John 15:13-15 Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends, if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

Jesus Christ died so that we might live, and His life is a testimony for us of what the truest of friends is like. We should all get to know Him better." [lifehopeandtruth.com]

Friendships: What They Mean To Us Part 3

Today, we continue on in our series about friendships.  Friendships are worth it, despite the struggle to find them, to discern out which ones are healthy for us, and to maintain them over time and changes in our lives.  We need friends, outside of our immediate family bubble.  We need others to relate with, to support with, cry with, share joy with, and pray with.  The ability to be vulnerable with someone else is a true blessing of godly friendships.  

When we are looking for a guide to finding a true friend, a good place to start is the fruit of the Spirit.  Galatians 5: 22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."   We should use the fruits of the Spirit to not only gauge ourselves as a friend to others, but also as a gauge of others as a friend to us.  Are we pointing each other towards Christ within our friendship?  Our friendships are about having fun while doing things together, but it should also involve hard truths that help us become more like the character of God.  

"My best friend is the man who in wishing me well, wishes it for my sake."  [Aristotle]

"Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God's best gifts.  It involves many things, but above all, the power of going out of one's self, and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another."  [Thomas Hughes]

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘You too? I thought I was the only one." [C.S Lewis]

"Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." [Ed Cunningham]

As for myself, I am blessed to call many people 'my friend'.  I do have a small circle of friends that are like my 'sisters and brothers', not just my sisters or brothers in Christ.  My friendships are diversified in many different ways by age, ethnicity, religions, gender, distance apart, personalities, and temperaments.  I love to be around friends that are stronger in an area of the fruits of the Spirit than I am, especially patience.  When I am around them and witness a patient, self-controlled moment, I am not only in awe but I am convicted.  I know that I wouldn't have handled the situation with such grace and I have something to think about later and learn from it.  These moments are blessings from God and are part of my sanctification.

May God bless you with friendships that give you joy, truth, and convictions that draw you towards Him each day.