Friendships: What They Mean To Us Part 2

Today, we continue our talk on friendships.  God is concerned with who we call 'friend', what we talk about and do together, and if we are building each other up in Christ.   How do you know someone is a 'friend'?  Because they are a safe place to talk with, trust is valued by them, they are supportive, they are fun to be with, they are truthful even when it hurts, they encourage, and they point towards Christ.

So, what draws us to someone that makes us want to be their friend?  Similarities, personality types, looks like us, friend of a friend, same age group, listeners who truly listen, or someone who is a total opposite of ourselves.  There are examples in the bible of unlikely friendships too.  We see it in the bond between Naomi and Ruth.  Friendship can be more than kindness--it means loyalty, love and devotion.  It's a bond that will endure pain, personal sacrifice, and loss in order to remain loyal to another person.

Ruth 1:16-17 "Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” "

What aspects of Ruth and Naomi's friendship can we take for our own friendships?  Their bond was between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law, two generations, they provide and support for each other.  Its important for us to have friends from all different phases of life.  We can all learn from each other, whether it's 'yes, I've been there too' or 'no, I need help with this problem' or 'let's walk thru this together.'  God has great plans for diverse friendships, like Naomi and Ruth's.   Diversity in friendships keeps us from being one-dimensional and helps us grow in many aspects of our lives.  

Our future friendships could be right around us, but we must be open minded, intentional, and get out there with other people.  We must strive to heal our broken relationships and be open to creating a friendship.  We must take initiative to getting to know others who we may not easily gravitate to.  Friendship can be a surprise blessing for both involved, so seek and you will find more than you ever thought possible in a 'true friend.'

Friendships: What They Mean To Us

I'm working through a bible study on friendships.  God built us for community and one of those is the community of friendship. According to Wikipedia, friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association.  "True friendships are hallmarked by each member's desire to engage with the other - it's about mutual interest in one another's experiences and thoughts, as well as a sense of 'belongingness' and connection , Friendships require reciprocity - of admiration, respect, trust, and emotional and instrumental support."

What are some words that describe a good, healthy friendship? Affable, affectionate, amiable, amicable, attentive, available, believable, brave, caring, cheerful, considerate, cordial, discerning, easygoing, empathetic, faithful, forgiving, funny, generous, gentle, giving, good listener, heartfelt, honest, humorous, intentional, jovial, just, manageable, meaningful, nice, open minded, polite, pleasing, respectful, reachable, sincere, simple, teachable, trustworthy, valued, vulnerable, worthy, yielding, and zany.   Not every friendship includes all of these descriptions, but they are a list of possiblities to strive towards.

What are some barriers we face in finding or holding on to good friendships?  Being truly known for who we are and risking being rejected or unloved, Risk of being hurt because we are sinners, Transparency in deeper relationships opens us up for more vulnerability, Being less alone can be difficult but also good for our souls.

John 15:14-15  "You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

"Sin demands to have a man by himself.  It withdraws him from the community.  The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him."  Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Friendship is scary but it is wort the risk.  Isolation is riskier and that is where the enemy wants for us because it is easier for him to destroy us with negative thoughts and lies. 

Join me in the coming blogs and learn more about what true friendships mean for us and our lives. 

Encouragement For Today

Today's blog is a combination of encouraging finds that have lifted me up in some way over the past few weeks.  I hope that your heart is encouraged because we are all either in a storm that is testing us, or are about to be in a storm that we don't expect, or have just weathered a storm and can see God's faithfulness once again.

From Louie Giglio.."I wait for the Lord to help me. I trust His word. — Psalm 130:5

The seahorse is a tiny fish that lives in the oceans.  It’s called a seahorse because its head looks like the head of — you guessed it — a tiny horse. This unusual creature often swims with another seahorse, and they link their tails to stay together. It also swims “standing up” and tries to blend in with nearby plants so it doesn’t get eaten. Because of its body shape, the seahorse isn’t a very good swimmer. So rather than go out hunting for food, seahorses use their tails like anchors, holding on to a piece of sea grass or coral. They then wait for food — plankton and tiny crustaceans — to drift by so they can suck it up with their long snouts.  With its poor swimming and its tendency to stay in one spot, the seahorse isn’t going to win any races. But God has given it everything it needs: a way to get food, someone to swim through life with, and something to hold on to. God promises the same to you. The Bible says, 

God will use His wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need. — Philippians 4:19 

God provides you with food and shelter, Jesus to swim through life with, and the promises of His Word to hold on to. Like the seahorse, you may sometimes have to hold on and wait for God to deliver His promises — but He always will, and at just the perfect time.

Help me, Lord, to wait for Your perfect timing. And while I wait, teach me to live the way You want me to. I will follow You!

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Another from Louie Giglio..."If God is for us, who can be against us? — Romans 8:31

The question is not simply, “Who can be against us?” You could answer that one. Who is against you? Disease, inflation, corruption, exhaustion. Calamities confront, and fears imprison. Were Paul’s question, “Who can be against us?” we could list our foes much easier than we could fight them. But that is not the question. The question is, If GOD is for us, who can be against us?

Indulge me for a moment. Four words in this verse deserve your attention. Read slowly the phrase, “God is for us.” Please pause for a minute before you continue. Read it again, aloud. (My apologies to the person next to you.) God is for us. Repeat the phrase four times, this time emphasizing each word. (Come on, you’re not in that big of a hurry.)

God is for us.

God is for us.

God is for us.

God is for us.

God is for you. Your parents may have forgotten you, your teachers may have neglected you, your siblings may be ashamed of you, but within reach of your prayers is the Maker of the oceans. God!

God is for you. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than He is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.

God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that’s God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that’s God applauding your steps. Listen for Him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He’ll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He’s picking you up. God is for you.

God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there’s a tree in heaven, he’s carved your name in the bark. We know He has a tattoo, and we know what it says.

‘I have engraved you on the palms of my hands,” He declares. — Isaiah 49:16

God is with you. Knowing that, who is against you? Can death harm you now? Can disease rob your life? Can your purpose be taken or your value diminished? No. Though hell itself may set itself against you, no one can defeat you. You are protected. God is with you.

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“Give ear to my words, O Lord.
Consider my meditation.
Harken unto the voice of my cry,
My King and my God.
For unto Thee will I pray
My voice shalt Thou hear in the morning.
O Lord, in the morning
Will I direct my prayer
Unto Thee and will look up.”  Psalm 5:1-3

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From Lysa Terkeurst..."Bad things happen. Evil occurs. Tragedies crash in. At least for me and maybe for you, too, when suffering thrusts me to my knees, when the enemy causes me to be hemmed in on every side, when temptation comes, when false accusations arise, these questions start to percolate…

What’s going on in my heart?
What’s in my head?
What do I truly believe?
Where do I put my trust?
Where is my security?
What is coming out of my mouth?
What is coming out in my actions?
What is my steadfast determination?

I don’t want to stumble, or waver, or recede in my faith when storms rage and I bet you don’t either. We don’t want to wobble and get lured in temptation because it’ll just make things so very much worse.

Then, after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. — James 1:15

Jesus redirects the temptation of the enemy with the Word of God.  In those shaken, or grief-stricken, or confused, or tempted places, we need the Word of God. Jesus was our example for this. We need to read the Word, know the Word, speak the Word, and let it permeate our lives and our choices.  If we aren’t digging deep to seek the source of Living Water, to seek the Word of God for ourselves, we will not have the grounding necessary to stand strong when the world’s ways try to pull us down. 

We long for what we look at and linger on. We steer where we stare. Where is that? What’s the focus? Is it on the One who loves us the most?

Worship the Lord your God and serve Him only. — Matthew 4:10

Doubts are normal, disappointment is expected, questions and worries are par for the course. But, in that crux of temptation, we must stay connected to the Word of God. Talk back to temptation using God’s own Words. Lean on God with all our strength. Use Scripture to speak to our thinking, doubt our doubts, and be renewed in our minds.

God knows best. He can be trusted. Seek Him. And, stay with Him.

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Notes that caught my attention...

"Fear is evidence of an eroded trust in God."  As for myself, I never want others to see me as not fully trusting God, but to only see my fears as my lack of patience.  I want to see my fears as room for growth and that God is still working on me.

2 Corinthians 4:15-17  "All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

As for myself, I need to consider what's really on my heart.  Not if, but since God is working for my good, why am I not counting all of this joy?

Kingdom minded means there is a purpose for my pain on this side of eternity.

As for myself, I need to be as willing to suffer for God's purposes, as Jesus was for me.

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I hope and pray that you've been encouraged today for God's plan for you.

Not My Will, But God's Will Be Done

Revelation 21:4  "‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

I have continued on in my bible study by Lysa Terkeurst called, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered.”   This week is about living between the two gardens of Eden...from Eden in Genesis to Eden restored in Revelation 22.  This in between time is the life we are living now which includes anxiety, disappointments and sadness.  We are not in the perfect times which God first made, until sin entered, nor the time to come that God has planned to come.  We are in the hard, difficult days where our trust in Jesus is fully tested.  So where do we begin?

Start with what you know is true. 
As believers, we know God is good. God loves me.  God has an unfailing love for us.  God will never forsake us.  God is steadfast in his love and care for us. God never lies.  God knew us before He created us in the womb.  God has a purpose for us, the pain, and the joys in this life.
Hebrews 2:14-15, 17-18   "Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—  and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." "For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.  Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

"He became man that he might die; as God he could not die, and therefore he assumed another nature and state. Here the wonderful love of God appeared, that, when Christ knew what he must suffer in our nature, and how he must die in it, yet he so readily took it upon him."  [M. Henry]

Turn your eyes upon Jesus. 
We must look to Jesus, as our example, especially when we are hurting and discouraged.  He felt the same pain and sorrow, as we do.  There is nothing we have felt in this world that he hasn't.  Mark 15:23  "Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it."  D.A. Carson says "The 'wine mixed with myrrh' was a sedative that was intended to dull the pain and agony but Jesus refused to drink it."  "Jesus would feel all the pain so he could, on the cross, heal all the pain." [L. Terkeurst]
Hebrews 3:1  "Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest."
Hebrews 5:7-9  "During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.  Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." 

God chose to become man, as Jesus, and we can trust him to completely understand all of our hurts. Jesus learned thru his suffering and obedience that matured over time---and we can too.  Luke 2:52  "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."  "It is through the suffering that we are experiencing now that we will develop a perseverance to carry us forward then in what God sees coming our way."  [L. Terkeurst]

Trading our will for God's will.
Mark 14:36  "Yet not what I will, but what you will."
"Where do I struggle trading my will for God's will?  We assume that we know what a good God should do...we make suggestions, felt stressed, anxious, talked w/others but have you prayed w/a posture of humility?  You trade your will for His b/c you know He works all things out for good for those that love Him.  We often say 'God bless this but don't mess with this.'"  [L. Terkeurst]
Matthew 6:10  "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"....how Jesus taught us to pray.   May we always align our will with God's plan for us, even when it's not easy.  

As for myself, the devil has tried to fill my mind with negativity, lies, and twisted thoughts.  So, this blog is written especially for me and anyone else who feels the same.  I feel like I'm being tested as I've gone through many different kinds of trials lately.  I've been sick and now well; been through the loss of a longtime, great aide; dealing with isolation; and definitely trying to accept God's will for me.

So,  'Start with what you know is true'..I know that God's love for me hasn't changed and that He will work things for my good, as always.  My doubts and fears may try to get a foothold, but it's only temporary.  God grants me new mercies each and every day.  His hold on me is never any less.  Then,  'Turn your eyes upon Jesus' ..I have found great comfort in the verses friends have sent.  His Word is how I am reminded of who He is.  His Word is what destroys the lies that the devil plants in my head.  Lastly, and the hardest,  'Trading our will for God's will'.. I am not the one who gets to choose my life for me, thank goodness, or I'd been in the ditch a long time ago.  I have to understand that my suffering is purposeful to me and many others.  My aides are learning the gift of service in good times and bad.  My friends are learning that suffering isn't always so bad, there are joyful times.  Everyone in my life are witnesses to the strength of God's hand on me and what he has pulled me through time and time again.  God's will for me is to turn to Him as I suffer and obey til His Kingdom come.

2 Questions To Ponder

I have started a Bible study by Lysa TerKeurst called "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way”: finding unexpected strength when disappointments leave you shattered.’  I don't know what you are dealing with in life right now, but there has never been a Bible study that has screamed at me like this before.  Now, I have only just begun and finished Session 1.  I want to share with you two questions that God asked Eve and Adam.

"Where are you?"

This is the first question asked by God in the bible.  This wasn't a question about physical location but of spiritual oneness with Him.  God is reminding them that by their sin, they are the ones that walked away, but He is still there.  "Where is your orientation, as it relates to Me," is what God is asking them.  God wants us to come to Him, because He has what we need in every situation and circumstance.  

"The question was for their benefit. God was essentially asking, “You disobeyed me; how is that working out for you? Did things turn out like you wanted or how I predicted?” The question also shows the heart of God, which is the heart of a shepherd seeking out the lost lambs in order to bring them into the fold. Jesus would later come “to seek and to save the lost” "  [gotquestions.org]

So, how does this question relate to us? 

We often feel lost, broken and without help but our feelings aren't our truths.  Feelings come and go, they change with the circumstance that we are in for the moment.  God says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."   We need reminded that the world will disappoint and walk away, but God is faithful, ever present with us and will never forsake us.

"Who told you that you were naked?"

Who told you that in your naked form, you were anything less than the beautiful creation that God made you to be?  Who is throwing accusations at you that would cause you to feel guilt and shame and want to hide from God?  The serpent coaxed them into thinking they weren't good enough and with one simple act, they could be like God, but instead the seed of sin was planted and in an instant they gave up their God nature, falling from grace and corrupting their very souls and the souls of all who followed them.  The enemy's words are powerful and meant to hurt us, mislead us, and ultimately destroy us.  BUT, God's words are more powerful and are meant to build us up, encourage us, defend us, protect us, and ultimately give us hope and life.

So, how does this question relate to us? 

Satan tells us the lie, “You are not good enough, God is holding back from you, you are missing out on life, you could have more!”   "Giving attention to these types of questions keep us from trusting God as the source for all that we need: peace, joy, contentment, abundance, and more. Because we believe that we are naked, flawed, empty, lacking, or whatever the case may be, we are tempted again and again to eat the forbidden fruit that’s only purpose is to move us further from our creator and to seek after the creation/illusion instead of the creator." [thechristianmediator.com]

As for myself, I have been challenged by these two questions and the thoughts that were provoked within me.  "Where am I?"  I have to ask myself, 'Who moved', when God feels far away.  When I get back to my devotions and Bible verses, it’s always what I needed to hear.   "Who told you that you were naked?"  When I am sick or down in my spirits, it’s easy to see everyone else as having and living the good life.  I can entertain the lie of not having enough or that I'm not favored by God but the cure for that is to count my innumerable blessings.  Satan's lies are always crushed by God's truths, promises and blessings.  Count on God always, more than His creations and you won't be disappointed.

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